Used to be a trick, used to think I was big, used to think it was the right image to hold, but little did I know I was wrong.
I didn't see her for who she was, my love for her was there but I didn't know it at the time, blinded by my image, blinded by the light, blinded by my own stupidity, so blind I don't deserve to even lay my eyes on her.
I wish I grasped what could have been mine. I wish I wasn't so scared to fall in love, but I ain't too scared to fall in love, its love that is scared to let me be loved, like I don't deserve to be loved.
I see myself listening to slow jams more than ever. I see myself avoiding other girls. I know she is the one. I can see so clearly as I am one year out of our little relationship.
I look back and wonder how I fell in love with her. I realise it was her smile, her voice, her modesty, her petiteness, her charm, her gentle approach, the way she knew me like a book even though she had so little time to read me.
The fact that she knows that I've changed, the fact she knows I am like no other boy. I realise that it was the slow jams that made me change, the fact that I cried for her and she still does not know, the PAIN!
I have tried to win her back. She knows how I feel. I wish I was with her now instead of writing this pointless prose.
The plain fact is that you wont understand this, you cant even help me. You probably think I'm sprung, you probably think I got problems, you probably think she is a bitch, you might even think I'm just a teenager in love. But this is not no petty puppy love this is real and I don't think I will let her go, but ... the day I hold her will be the day I burn these words.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
7 December 2009 10.38am
What a boring day today...
nothing to do much actually...
countless night i have restless sleep...
due to the cough i been thru...
its been a week now...
but it shows no progression..
its quite a long time...
that i didn't pen down something on this page...
my life is like a roller coaster recently...
up and down, up and down...
but i have get use to it since a long time ago...
so actually nothing shattered my hope for now...
have loads of things in my mind...
but its not the right time to present it out...
i have learned how to forget...
finally...
should be saying something inspirational...
but ended up saying craps...
lol...
maybe for another few days...
wait until i get into a better condition...
i will write something interesting...
that's all for now...
nothing to do much actually...
countless night i have restless sleep...
due to the cough i been thru...
its been a week now...
but it shows no progression..
its quite a long time...
that i didn't pen down something on this page...
my life is like a roller coaster recently...
up and down, up and down...
but i have get use to it since a long time ago...
so actually nothing shattered my hope for now...
have loads of things in my mind...
but its not the right time to present it out...
i have learned how to forget...
finally...
should be saying something inspirational...
but ended up saying craps...
lol...
maybe for another few days...
wait until i get into a better condition...
i will write something interesting...
that's all for now...
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
29 October 2009 1.59am
First of all..
happy birthday to my dear cousin again...
hope you enjoy your great day yesterday...
although we are far apart...
but we are close at heart...
haha....kinda gay...
unfortunately i am going to keep my blog short today...
no mood for typing...
because of the freaking badminton session yesterday...
damnit..it was tiring...
but most of the part..i was enjoying it...
since i come back from kl...
my life has totally changed...
responsibility comes the first in everything i do...
although it was hard to get over with...
but i believe
with some patience and advice...
i may overcome this obstacles...
countless night i can't have a good rest...
countless night i can't stop thinking about it...
countless night i can't sleep comfortable...
but in these countless night...
it shows me that...
i am very lucky...
to have you by my side...
thanks...
and to my gang...
gong chio nia...
mai du lan okay...
happy go lucky~~
happy birthday to my dear cousin again...
hope you enjoy your great day yesterday...
although we are far apart...
but we are close at heart...
haha....kinda gay...
unfortunately i am going to keep my blog short today...
no mood for typing...
because of the freaking badminton session yesterday...
damnit..it was tiring...
but most of the part..i was enjoying it...
since i come back from kl...
my life has totally changed...
responsibility comes the first in everything i do...
although it was hard to get over with...
but i believe
with some patience and advice...
i may overcome this obstacles...
countless night i can't have a good rest...
countless night i can't stop thinking about it...
countless night i can't sleep comfortable...
but in these countless night...
it shows me that...
i am very lucky...
to have you by my side...
thanks...
and to my gang...
gong chio nia...
mai du lan okay...
happy go lucky~~
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
If I didn't met you, I wouldn't like you..
If I didn't liked you, I wouldn't love you..
If I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't miss you..
But I did, I do and I will..
I can't talk to you anymore..
it's not that I am mad at you..
it's just that when I talk to you..
I realize how much I love you..
and when I realize how much I love you..
I realize I can't have you and that..
makes me love you even more..
I make the most of what comes and the least of what goes.
I'm not supposed to love you..
I'm not supposed to care..
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there..
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing..
but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you..
Pain is inevitable..
Suffering is optional..
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart..
don't show how to laugh either..
Always do what is right..
This will surprise some people and astonish the rest..
Sometimes the person you really need..
is the one you didn't think you wanted..
Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you.
If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears..
Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don't deserve me..
They're right, you don't deserve me, but I deserve you..
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew..
It takes a couple seconds to say Hello..
but forever to say Goodbye..
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him..
Moving on is simple..
it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult..
There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest..
your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo..
It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me..
I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?
To the person who are reading this,
no matter you are a gal or a boy,
kindly take notice,
don't accept if you don't want to hurt,
don't hurt if you already accept,
don't accept if you already decide,
don't decide when you can't see the future..
If I didn't liked you, I wouldn't love you..
If I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't miss you..
But I did, I do and I will..
I can't talk to you anymore..
it's not that I am mad at you..
it's just that when I talk to you..
I realize how much I love you..
and when I realize how much I love you..
I realize I can't have you and that..
makes me love you even more..
I make the most of what comes and the least of what goes.
I'm not supposed to love you..
I'm not supposed to care..
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there..
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing..
but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you..
Pain is inevitable..
Suffering is optional..
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart..
don't show how to laugh either..
Always do what is right..
This will surprise some people and astonish the rest..
Sometimes the person you really need..
is the one you didn't think you wanted..
Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you.
If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears..
Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don't deserve me..
They're right, you don't deserve me, but I deserve you..
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew..
It takes a couple seconds to say Hello..
but forever to say Goodbye..
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him..
Moving on is simple..
it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult..
There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest..
your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo..
It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me..
I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?
To the person who are reading this,
no matter you are a gal or a boy,
kindly take notice,
don't accept if you don't want to hurt,
don't hurt if you already accept,
don't accept if you already decide,
don't decide when you can't see the future..
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Oh! Sotong, I am but a fool,
Darling I love you tho' you treat me cruel,
You hurt me and you made me cry
But if you leave me I will surely die.
Darling there will never be another
Cause I love you so,
don't ever leave me,
Say you'll never go
I will always want you for my sweetheart
No matter what you do
Oh! Sotong, I'm so in love with you.
Oh, Sotong...
Darling..
this is for you when you really made up your mind...
Darling I love you tho' you treat me cruel,
You hurt me and you made me cry
But if you leave me I will surely die.
Darling there will never be another
Cause I love you so,
don't ever leave me,
Say you'll never go
I will always want you for my sweetheart
No matter what you do
Oh! Sotong, I'm so in love with you.
Oh, Sotong...
Darling..
this is for you when you really made up your mind...
Friday, October 2, 2009
2 October 2009 1.40am
Earthquake...
does anyone feel it?
i didn't feel it...
thousands of life have lost...
Philippines Flood
Samoa Tsunami
Sumatra Earthquake
the world is going to end is it?
live everyday like we are dying...
hope...
i don't think there is any left...
what can government do about this?
nothing...
the wrath of god is so powerful...
no human can withstand it...
is this a punishment for us?
for not treasuring our mother earth?
SOS earth...
is it too late for action...
2012 is it true?
now all of us is thinking the same thing...
End of the world...
?
yes or no?
does anyone feel it?
i didn't feel it...
thousands of life have lost...
Philippines Flood
Samoa Tsunami
Sumatra Earthquake
the world is going to end is it?
live everyday like we are dying...
hope...
i don't think there is any left...
what can government do about this?
nothing...
the wrath of god is so powerful...
no human can withstand it...
is this a punishment for us?
for not treasuring our mother earth?
SOS earth...
is it too late for action...
2012 is it true?
now all of us is thinking the same thing...
End of the world...
?
yes or no?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
29 September 2009 3.06pm
Thanks to all the greeting...
thank you all...
I'm really happy...
this year...
it's not the same...
with last year...
when think of last year...
it let me remind of myself...
that one year has passed...
it let me remind of myself...
not to think about it again...
it let me remind of myself...
i must carry on my life...
this year...
i must thanks to a person...
she do a lot just for this day...
although she felt she did nothing...
but to me...
it's means much more than anything...
and to my friends...
thanks for celebrating my bday at the very last minute...
i will never forget the person that push my face onto the cake...
wait next year...
it's your turn...
and to my buddies...
thanks for all the wishes...
thanks for all the support...
and thanks to sotong...
without you...
all these thing wont happen...
thank you so much...
i owe you one...
thanks...
thank you all...
I'm really happy...
this year...
it's not the same...
with last year...
when think of last year...
it let me remind of myself...
that one year has passed...
it let me remind of myself...
not to think about it again...
it let me remind of myself...
i must carry on my life...
this year...
i must thanks to a person...
she do a lot just for this day...
although she felt she did nothing...
but to me...
it's means much more than anything...
and to my friends...
thanks for celebrating my bday at the very last minute...
i will never forget the person that push my face onto the cake...
wait next year...
it's your turn...
and to my buddies...
thanks for all the wishes...
thanks for all the support...
and thanks to sotong...
without you...
all these thing wont happen...
thank you so much...
i owe you one...
thanks...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
27 September 2009 2.26
Today...
i just know...
there is no one to be trust...
except my parents...
damn...
everyday...when human wake up...
they will at least make one lie up...
so do i...
that is normal lie...
but still lie...
depends on what situation...
now...
i really don't know who more i can trust...
anyway...
Happy Birthday to my dear cousin...
you are not here...
if not i sure sing song let you hear...
i just know...
there is no one to be trust...
except my parents...
damn...
everyday...when human wake up...
they will at least make one lie up...
so do i...
that is normal lie...
but still lie...
depends on what situation...
now...
i really don't know who more i can trust...
anyway...
Happy Birthday to my dear cousin...
you are not here...
if not i sure sing song let you hear...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
23 September 2009 3.05am
My heart is fucking pain...
I can feel the pain...
It's so painful...
Damn...i wish i could stop my heart now...
every stomp makes it pain...
every breath i take makes me pain...
every laugh i make makes me pain...
Damn,
please stop it...
after all this pain...
its worth it...
i hope you really mean it...
don't make my heart pain for nothing...
you steady, i steady...
that is my promise to you...
i treat you as my friend...
don't let me treat you as my enemy...
whether i will live...
lets see if i am able to go thru tonight...
I can feel the pain...
It's so painful...
Damn...i wish i could stop my heart now...
every stomp makes it pain...
every breath i take makes me pain...
every laugh i make makes me pain...
Damn,
please stop it...
after all this pain...
its worth it...
i hope you really mean it...
don't make my heart pain for nothing...
you steady, i steady...
that is my promise to you...
i treat you as my friend...
don't let me treat you as my enemy...
whether i will live...
lets see if i am able to go thru tonight...
Friday, September 18, 2009
18 September 2009 4.07pm
hehe...
nothing to do around office today...
and i think of this...
Is it so easy to forget someone?
While it takes a minute to have a crush on someone...
an hour to like someone...
and a day to love someone...
it takes a lifetime to forget someone...
".... it takes a life time to forget someone...."
I have only one life to live... to use it to forget the time we had?
I have only one life to love... to use it to hate?
I have only one life to...to do the things i love to do...
I will not to use my one life to forget and to hate...
I want to remember all the time we had...
I want to love as much as i can...
I want to use my one life to remember someone...
not to forget someone...
just as a story i heard before...
i never carve your name on the sand..because the wind will blow it
i never write your name in the paper..because the rubber can rub it..
i remember your name in my mind...because memories can never be wiped away...
nothing to do around office today...
and i think of this...
Is it so easy to forget someone?
While it takes a minute to have a crush on someone...
an hour to like someone...
and a day to love someone...
it takes a lifetime to forget someone...
".... it takes a life time to forget someone...."
I have only one life to live... to use it to forget the time we had?
I have only one life to love... to use it to hate?
I have only one life to...to do the things i love to do...
I will not to use my one life to forget and to hate...
I want to remember all the time we had...
I want to love as much as i can...
I want to use my one life to remember someone...
not to forget someone...
just as a story i heard before...
i never carve your name on the sand..because the wind will blow it
i never write your name in the paper..because the rubber can rub it..
i remember your name in my mind...because memories can never be wiped away...
18 September 2009 1.25am
Suddenly...
feel don't want to have my birthday again this year...
nothing special actually...
just a birthday...
sometimes i wonder if i don't have birthday...
would it be nice?
but without birthday there is no me in this world...
the same feel come back again this time...
got gain got loss...
hate this kind of feeling very much...
so i rather be alone when my birthday reach...
it's much more happier than be in the crowd...
but at the same time...
i wish i also can have my birthday...
using my way...
weird way...haha
i never cut a cake personally for me since i was small...
really...
but this is not a reason that i hate birthday okay...
there are other reason that i hate my birthday..
i still remember when i was small...
i always see my friend they all have birthday party...
i also wished i have one too...
but mum say...
children make what party...
then grow up already...
wish to have birthday party at my house...
but think of it...
its quite troublesome...
need to trouble mum to cook and clean all those mess left behind...
then at the age 21...
this birthday is the most memorable birthday i ever had...
but what pass is pass...
i can say that from i start gaining knowledge...
i never had a good birthday...
bad things comes at my birthday...
but its okay...
after so many years...
I'm getting used to it...
for this year wish...
i have given it to a person i love...
so this year i don't have any wish left...
so i decided to use next year wish...
i wish my bro will get well soon...
i want to have fun with you again bro...
miss you...
wait me okay...
i am coming this Saturday...
looking at the sky...
gazing at the stars...
hallucinating...
wondering...
weird hobby isn't it...
countdown...
10 days...to my hellday...
feel don't want to have my birthday again this year...
nothing special actually...
just a birthday...
sometimes i wonder if i don't have birthday...
would it be nice?
but without birthday there is no me in this world...
the same feel come back again this time...
got gain got loss...
hate this kind of feeling very much...
so i rather be alone when my birthday reach...
it's much more happier than be in the crowd...
but at the same time...
i wish i also can have my birthday...
using my way...
weird way...haha
i never cut a cake personally for me since i was small...
really...
but this is not a reason that i hate birthday okay...
there are other reason that i hate my birthday..
i still remember when i was small...
i always see my friend they all have birthday party...
i also wished i have one too...
but mum say...
children make what party...
then grow up already...
wish to have birthday party at my house...
but think of it...
its quite troublesome...
need to trouble mum to cook and clean all those mess left behind...
then at the age 21...
this birthday is the most memorable birthday i ever had...
but what pass is pass...
i can say that from i start gaining knowledge...
i never had a good birthday...
bad things comes at my birthday...
but its okay...
after so many years...
I'm getting used to it...
for this year wish...
i have given it to a person i love...
so this year i don't have any wish left...
so i decided to use next year wish...
i wish my bro will get well soon...
i want to have fun with you again bro...
miss you...
wait me okay...
i am coming this Saturday...
looking at the sky...
gazing at the stars...
hallucinating...
wondering...
weird hobby isn't it...
countdown...
10 days...to my hellday...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
16 September 2009 3.46am
Money or Dignity?
this two things is the most important factor in our life...
which one does you choose?
Money...
is it really so important?
it does...
without money...
the world can't go around...
Dignity...
is it important too?
yes it does...
without dignity...
who dare to trust and believe you...
there is a saying..
Money 没钱就没办法活下去...
Dignity 陵园死也不要没面子...
which one is more important?
actually the key for those two is
Balance 平衡..
Honest 誠實..
Satisfy 滿足..
Human are a very intelligent organism...
they can change abruptly depending on the current situation...
so...
which one does you choose?
Money or dignity?
or you choose to be
Balance, honest and self-satisfy?
this two things is the most important factor in our life...
which one does you choose?
Money...
is it really so important?
it does...
without money...
the world can't go around...
Dignity...
is it important too?
yes it does...
without dignity...
who dare to trust and believe you...
there is a saying..
Money 没钱就没办法活下去...
Dignity 陵园死也不要没面子...
which one is more important?
actually the key for those two is
Balance 平衡..
Honest 誠實..
Satisfy 滿足..
Human are a very intelligent organism...
they can change abruptly depending on the current situation...
so...
which one does you choose?
Money or dignity?
or you choose to be
Balance, honest and self-satisfy?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
14th September 20xx 11.59.59
Happy Birthday sotong...
i know you must be angry with me...
because i didn't wish you yet...
it's not that i don't want too...
but it's too risky...
i don't want you to be unhappy okay...
please understand ya...
I think i maybe the last one to wish you this...
ngam ngam 11.59.59 really last minutes...
okay...
here is my wish for you la...
wish you happy everyday...
wish you healthy everyday...
wish you pretty always...
wish you get what you want...
wish your wish come true...
wish you don't have any stress...
wish you can love someone you really love...
wish you can find someone you really like...
very kap hor...like uncle already...
i choose to stay at here also for a reason...
if this blog keeps going...
that means i won't forget to wish you every year..
and you can't be angry with me anymore...
hahaha...
anyway...
hope you have a nice birthday every year...
let me took a picture of you smiling...
from:
stupid elmo who miss her sotong so much.. :P
i know you must be angry with me...
because i didn't wish you yet...
it's not that i don't want too...
but it's too risky...
i don't want you to be unhappy okay...
please understand ya...
I think i maybe the last one to wish you this...
ngam ngam 11.59.59 really last minutes...
okay...
here is my wish for you la...
wish you happy everyday...
wish you healthy everyday...
wish you pretty always...
wish you get what you want...
wish your wish come true...
wish you don't have any stress...
wish you can love someone you really love...
wish you can find someone you really like...
very kap hor...like uncle already...
i choose to stay at here also for a reason...
if this blog keeps going...
that means i won't forget to wish you every year..
and you can't be angry with me anymore...
hahaha...
anyway...
hope you have a nice birthday every year...
let me took a picture of you smiling...
from:
stupid elmo who miss her sotong so much.. :P
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Bro..dude..kakis
Bro...
i lost count on how long we knew each other already...
but i always have the feeling we just knew each other yesterday...
everything was so fresh in my mind...
still remember the 1st time we meet at school?
still remember the 1st time we go peng lin eat?
still remember the 1st time we whole gang go play dota?
still remember the 1st time we all go clubbing?
still remember the 1st time we sat at the balcony chatting bout girls?
still remember the 1st time we chat till morning?
still remember the 1st time we chat at msn talking about craps?
do you still remember my bro...
this is all the good memories we had together...
don't give up...
be strong...
you can do it...
i giving all my support for you...
i know its painful...
i know its suffering...
although my sickness cant be compare to yours...
but i know the feeling...
don't be afraid my friend
we are all by your side no matter what...
Fanch...
you can do it...
just believe in god...
and believe in miracle...
i lost count on how long we knew each other already...
but i always have the feeling we just knew each other yesterday...
everything was so fresh in my mind...
still remember the 1st time we meet at school?
still remember the 1st time we go peng lin eat?
still remember the 1st time we whole gang go play dota?
still remember the 1st time we all go clubbing?
still remember the 1st time we sat at the balcony chatting bout girls?
still remember the 1st time we chat till morning?
still remember the 1st time we chat at msn talking about craps?
do you still remember my bro...
this is all the good memories we had together...
don't give up...
be strong...
you can do it...
i giving all my support for you...
i know its painful...
i know its suffering...
although my sickness cant be compare to yours...
but i know the feeling...
don't be afraid my friend
we are all by your side no matter what...
Fanch...
you can do it...
just believe in god...
and believe in miracle...
Monday, September 7, 2009
6 September 2009 9.57pm
Painful..
Worried..
Sad..
Depressed..
Insomnia..
Angry..
6 words for today..
1 me in this world..
can 1 people be include in this 6 things at a same time?
human are really great...
god also..
take these thing away from me please...
Worried..
Sad..
Depressed..
Insomnia..
Angry..
6 words for today..
1 me in this world..
can 1 people be include in this 6 things at a same time?
human are really great...
god also..
take these thing away from me please...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
1 September 2009 2.59am
what a catch...
what a catch...
and all i think love is the way...
i know that you are the one...
so,
who gave up on you?
its a good phrase...
and i understand it my own way...
although i can't have you...
but its enough that i can have for a moment...
although i can't care you...
but its enough that i care before...
although i can't love you...
but its more than enough that i have tried before...
but there is a thing i can do now...
that is miss you..
everyday
every moment
every single second
that is the only thing i can do now...
and i really grateful that god give me a life to do it...
no matter where i go...
no matter what i do...
there is a person...
as precious as my life...
i will adore as i adore my life...
that person is you...
my sotong
what a catch...
and all i think love is the way...
i know that you are the one...
so,
who gave up on you?
its a good phrase...
and i understand it my own way...
although i can't have you...
but its enough that i can have for a moment...
although i can't care you...
but its enough that i care before...
although i can't love you...
but its more than enough that i have tried before...
but there is a thing i can do now...
that is miss you..
everyday
every moment
every single second
that is the only thing i can do now...
and i really grateful that god give me a life to do it...
no matter where i go...
no matter what i do...
there is a person...
as precious as my life...
i will adore as i adore my life...
that person is you...
my sotong
Thursday, August 27, 2009
26 August 4.10am
yeah...
tomorrow don't have work...
so i can online to dawn...
super tanker right...
today...
saw a movie..
called The Orphan...
really nice movie...
i rated it 7 out of 10 stars...
no offense because i watch it in cinema...
many parts have been clotted...
so i don't have the chance to see the actual movie...
inside the movie...
there is a girl called Esther acted by Isabelle Fuhrman...
really nice acting handed out by her...
she is only 12 years old...
my god...
really a good actress...
there is new movie coming out from her...
children of the corn and around the world in 50days...
and i catch a glimpse of 2012...
its a really must see movie...
i think it will flooded with people when it premier...
because of its tag line..
We were warned..
anyway...
if you haven't catch a glimpse of The Orphan...
be sure to catch it out at your nearest cinema...
tomorrow don't have work...
so i can online to dawn...
super tanker right...
today...
saw a movie..
called The Orphan...
really nice movie...
i rated it 7 out of 10 stars...
no offense because i watch it in cinema...
many parts have been clotted...
so i don't have the chance to see the actual movie...
inside the movie...
there is a girl called Esther acted by Isabelle Fuhrman...
really nice acting handed out by her...
she is only 12 years old...
my god...
really a good actress...
there is new movie coming out from her...
children of the corn and around the world in 50days...
and i catch a glimpse of 2012...
its a really must see movie...
i think it will flooded with people when it premier...
because of its tag line..
We were warned..
anyway...
if you haven't catch a glimpse of The Orphan...
be sure to catch it out at your nearest cinema...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
26 August 4.32am
today...
got a friend of mine..
fanch..
tell me what make life meaningful...
good question...
i will explain it to u here...
when u saw this blog...
be sure to comment...
people are categorize into 3 parts
children..
teenager..
and adult..
each of this category have different needs...
if you ask a children what makes your life meaningful..
they will say sweets or toys..
if you ask a teenager...
the answer will be different...
teenagers probably will say...
i want a gf/bf
i want to drive
i want a new handphone..
i want to go out have fun with friends...
that will make their current life meaningful..
if you ask adult...
that is me now..
i will tell you...
i haven't found out what make my life meaningful...
i just know they are a lot of things i haven't do now...
i can't just sit there and think of this...
when the time comes...
i won't tell u what make my life meaningful...
because by the time i found it...
i am sure you also find out the answer yourself already..
what makes my life meaningful...
u should think how to make ur life meaningful...
we live for ourselves..
not we live because we have a life...
life is short...
play more...
got a friend of mine..
fanch..
tell me what make life meaningful...
good question...
i will explain it to u here...
when u saw this blog...
be sure to comment...
people are categorize into 3 parts
children..
teenager..
and adult..
each of this category have different needs...
if you ask a children what makes your life meaningful..
they will say sweets or toys..
if you ask a teenager...
the answer will be different...
teenagers probably will say...
i want a gf/bf
i want to drive
i want a new handphone..
i want to go out have fun with friends...
that will make their current life meaningful..
if you ask adult...
that is me now..
i will tell you...
i haven't found out what make my life meaningful...
i just know they are a lot of things i haven't do now...
i can't just sit there and think of this...
when the time comes...
i won't tell u what make my life meaningful...
because by the time i found it...
i am sure you also find out the answer yourself already..
what makes my life meaningful...
u should think how to make ur life meaningful...
we live for ourselves..
not we live because we have a life...
life is short...
play more...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
25 August 2009 6.05am
You are always by my side..
doesn't care whether I'm,
sad..
happy..
sick..
tired..
you are always there for me..
doesn't care whether I'm,
at home..
outside..
yam cha..
you always make me feel I'm the luckiest guy alive..
you always make me feel that I'm the one you need..
you always make me believe that no one can break us apart..
every breath i take i taste you..
every scent makes me crazy of you..
every moment i think of you...
there is not even one minute i can not think of you..
its like the combination of chocolate and ice cream...
no one understand me more than you..
no one cares me more than you..
no one devote me like you do...
my darling...
thanks for accompany me every night and day..
without you i am nothing..
without you i am dying..
because of your existence..
you make my world even more meaningful...
thanks for everything..
Maggi..
You are the one...
doesn't care whether I'm,
sad..
happy..
sick..
tired..
you are always there for me..
doesn't care whether I'm,
at home..
outside..
yam cha..
you always make me feel I'm the luckiest guy alive..
you always make me feel that I'm the one you need..
you always make me believe that no one can break us apart..
every breath i take i taste you..
every scent makes me crazy of you..
every moment i think of you...
there is not even one minute i can not think of you..
its like the combination of chocolate and ice cream...
no one understand me more than you..
no one cares me more than you..
no one devote me like you do...
my darling...
thanks for accompany me every night and day..
without you i am nothing..
without you i am dying..
because of your existence..
you make my world even more meaningful...
thanks for everything..
Maggi..
You are the one...
Sunday, August 16, 2009
16 August 2009
so long didnt blog already...its been one month since last blog..
kinda busy lately...
many thing happen in this past month...
wallet lost...
health decrease...
relationship hanging on a thread...
really tired with my life...
i really wish i can move on my life...
without all these problem...
wallet lost...
its my fault...
being scold...
but whats is the use...
its already gone...
damn mafan...
go do ic wait...
go do license wait...
all is wait...
y my life always had to wait...
my health decrease...
i dunno what to do with my body already...
i hate my body...
i take care of it already...
but sickness keep coming on...
what is the use i go for exercise...gym...futsal...
the sickness comes non stop...
my relationship
from the start of my blog...
till now...
i keep mention about it...
now i already don't know what to do...
sometimes people really don't treasure whats is good beside them...
sometimes people only realize the good thing when is gone...
sometimes people think that the good things will always by their side...
i really speechless already...
with or without you...
i choose my life...
i cant choose u already...
u doesn't seem to care so much...
u doesn't seem to change much...
u still the same...
every time i think about this...
i will sad and want to improve myself..
to be better...
but many had said...
i have done more than better...
its she doesn't treasure you...
you should move on your life...
i think its time i don't think about relationship already...
i should put it aside...
when the time comes...
it will come...
and now...
its time for me to pursuit my future...
im sorry dear...
i have lost faith in you...
mayb its not the time for us to be so serious...
think about it...
wheter we should carry on like this...
anyway...
i am still waiting for you...
although is stupid...
i juz want u to know...
you are the best thing that happen in my life...
kinda busy lately...
many thing happen in this past month...
wallet lost...
health decrease...
relationship hanging on a thread...
really tired with my life...
i really wish i can move on my life...
without all these problem...
wallet lost...
its my fault...
being scold...
but whats is the use...
its already gone...
damn mafan...
go do ic wait...
go do license wait...
all is wait...
y my life always had to wait...
my health decrease...
i dunno what to do with my body already...
i hate my body...
i take care of it already...
but sickness keep coming on...
what is the use i go for exercise...gym...futsal...
the sickness comes non stop...
my relationship
from the start of my blog...
till now...
i keep mention about it...
now i already don't know what to do...
sometimes people really don't treasure whats is good beside them...
sometimes people only realize the good thing when is gone...
sometimes people think that the good things will always by their side...
i really speechless already...
with or without you...
i choose my life...
i cant choose u already...
u doesn't seem to care so much...
u doesn't seem to change much...
u still the same...
every time i think about this...
i will sad and want to improve myself..
to be better...
but many had said...
i have done more than better...
its she doesn't treasure you...
you should move on your life...
i think its time i don't think about relationship already...
i should put it aside...
when the time comes...
it will come...
and now...
its time for me to pursuit my future...
im sorry dear...
i have lost faith in you...
mayb its not the time for us to be so serious...
think about it...
wheter we should carry on like this...
anyway...
i am still waiting for you...
although is stupid...
i juz want u to know...
you are the best thing that happen in my life...
Friday, July 24, 2009
Truth 6.41am
To Dear,
sorry that i back early today...
and i lied that i was at home...
actually i was at minyak beku that time...
i am so fan...
i wanted to chat with u...
i wanted you to acc me...
i didnt care wheter u talk with me or not...
i juz want u to be by my side...
but u wanted to sleep...
so i let u sleep...
i try to call u a few times but u didnt answer...
that is the time i really need you...
but u rather choose sleep...
for one month...
i only noe that...
i love you more than you love me...
i care you more than you care me...
still remember that time my heart pain...
still remember the time that i tremble...
still remember the time i said i cough blood...
all i get was a rub on my chest...
then you sleep..
thats all...
at that moment...
i realize that...
im not that important for you...
don't try to lie me...
i know it...
i also have feelings same as you do...
because treat people good is a natural thing...
not i said d u juz do...
tats y i always say...
wat i get was not same as him...
its like a one man show...
you understand ma...
im only doing those thing to make me feel better...
im only doing those thing to make you feel happy...
and the truth is...
im not happy at all...
im juz doing my responsibility as you BF...
i noe i choose this road myself...
nobody force me to walk this road...
even u told me that u wont blame me if i leave...
i noe...
but do u noe i really really love you...
everytime i wake up..
i will look at my phone...
to see if you got sms me saying "dear, i wake up already"
but i never receive that message from you...
if i woke up early...
i will ask you to wake up...
u got wake me up...because is i ask u to wake me up...
even if im at work...
i will call u everytime im free...
but i never receive any call from u when u at work...even though u are free...
i didnt blame you...
i just blame myself for not knowing u earlier than him...
im sorry that i am not by urside earlier...
actually...
i know a lot of things...
but i pretend to be stupid only...
those thing i wont tell u...
i will keep it in my heart...
because if i said it out...
it is still the same...
you said to me before..
i treat u really good...
better than him...
but why i get this kind of treatment?
dear..
i juz want u to understand...
what i really feel these one month...
i dont want u to become someone i want u to be...
i want u to be someone u want to be...
that's why i never force you to make any decision...
because i noe even if u made decision...
you will be hurt...
i dont want to see you get hurt...
i think i used to much of my heart to treat you...
thats why u didnt care about what i feel...
treat me back as i treat you...
and you will know what is my feeling...
after you see this message...
i dont want you to say sorry to me...
i juz want you to understand...
thats all...
good nite dear...
work hard in your piano...
don't be lazy...
cuz im also working hard to learn it...
so that one day i can play piano with you...
we both work hard together okay...
just as i said...
Im always by urside when u need me..
From elmo :p
sorry that i back early today...
and i lied that i was at home...
actually i was at minyak beku that time...
i am so fan...
i wanted to chat with u...
i wanted you to acc me...
i didnt care wheter u talk with me or not...
i juz want u to be by my side...
but u wanted to sleep...
so i let u sleep...
i try to call u a few times but u didnt answer...
that is the time i really need you...
but u rather choose sleep...
for one month...
i only noe that...
i love you more than you love me...
i care you more than you care me...
still remember that time my heart pain...
still remember the time that i tremble...
still remember the time i said i cough blood...
all i get was a rub on my chest...
then you sleep..
thats all...
at that moment...
i realize that...
im not that important for you...
don't try to lie me...
i know it...
i also have feelings same as you do...
because treat people good is a natural thing...
not i said d u juz do...
tats y i always say...
wat i get was not same as him...
its like a one man show...
you understand ma...
im only doing those thing to make me feel better...
im only doing those thing to make you feel happy...
and the truth is...
im not happy at all...
im juz doing my responsibility as you BF...
i noe i choose this road myself...
nobody force me to walk this road...
even u told me that u wont blame me if i leave...
i noe...
but do u noe i really really love you...
everytime i wake up..
i will look at my phone...
to see if you got sms me saying "dear, i wake up already"
but i never receive that message from you...
if i woke up early...
i will ask you to wake up...
u got wake me up...because is i ask u to wake me up...
even if im at work...
i will call u everytime im free...
but i never receive any call from u when u at work...even though u are free...
i didnt blame you...
i just blame myself for not knowing u earlier than him...
im sorry that i am not by urside earlier...
actually...
i know a lot of things...
but i pretend to be stupid only...
those thing i wont tell u...
i will keep it in my heart...
because if i said it out...
it is still the same...
you said to me before..
i treat u really good...
better than him...
but why i get this kind of treatment?
dear..
i juz want u to understand...
what i really feel these one month...
i dont want u to become someone i want u to be...
i want u to be someone u want to be...
that's why i never force you to make any decision...
because i noe even if u made decision...
you will be hurt...
i dont want to see you get hurt...
i think i used to much of my heart to treat you...
thats why u didnt care about what i feel...
treat me back as i treat you...
and you will know what is my feeling...
after you see this message...
i dont want you to say sorry to me...
i juz want you to understand...
thats all...
good nite dear...
work hard in your piano...
don't be lazy...
cuz im also working hard to learn it...
so that one day i can play piano with you...
we both work hard together okay...
just as i said...
Im always by urside when u need me..
From elmo :p
Sunday, July 19, 2009
19 July 2009 4.52am
The Feeling of being lied...
hate it...
despise it...
why i should be covered up...
why i must use those stupid excuse to cover myself...
why i must be apply on those stupid excuse...
WTF....
Im really dissapointed...
hate it...
despise it...
why i should be covered up...
why i must use those stupid excuse to cover myself...
why i must be apply on those stupid excuse...
WTF....
Im really dissapointed...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
08 July 2009 5.20am
I finally said my feeling out...
really relax...stress free...
1 or 2
is just that simple...
its never mind actually...
i got my answer for today conversation...
you have tried your best...
it's okay...
nobody is going to blame you...
neither am i...
i really thankful that i have a chance...
i can't ask more than that already...
i have think really carefully...
and now it depends on you...
but i'm still a guy...
i really wish u choose me...
but don't ever think i'm pity...
choose if u think u are right...
don't regret okay...
drawing can be erased
picture can be deleted
but when u combine that two together..
its unforgettable
really relax...stress free...
1 or 2
is just that simple...
its never mind actually...
i got my answer for today conversation...
you have tried your best...
it's okay...
nobody is going to blame you...
neither am i...
i really thankful that i have a chance...
i can't ask more than that already...
i have think really carefully...
and now it depends on you...
but i'm still a guy...
i really wish u choose me...
but don't ever think i'm pity...
choose if u think u are right...
don't regret okay...
drawing can be erased
picture can be deleted
but when u combine that two together..
its unforgettable
Monday, July 6, 2009
06 July 2009 4.27am
Wow...
unbelievable..
seems like i was back here again...
2 months i didn't blog already...
too busy for many things...
work..
work and work now...
keep this blog short for today...
because the time is quite late now...
just back from her house...
actually go there want to say many things...
but ended up sleeping soundly...
many things unsolved...
now...i also lazy to say those thing already...
decide to let go...
i think that's the better way...
i like her...
but things didn't work out as i plan...
treasure people that been good to you
if you lost these people
they wont come back again
yesterday...
drunk...
drink too much...
although it was torturing...
but quite fun...
cuz got
KARAOKE...
unbelievable..
seems like i was back here again...
2 months i didn't blog already...
too busy for many things...
work..
work and work now...
keep this blog short for today...
because the time is quite late now...
just back from her house...
actually go there want to say many things...
but ended up sleeping soundly...
many things unsolved...
now...i also lazy to say those thing already...
decide to let go...
i think that's the better way...
i like her...
but things didn't work out as i plan...
treasure people that been good to you
if you lost these people
they wont come back again
yesterday...
drunk...
drink too much...
although it was torturing...
but quite fun...
cuz got
KARAOKE...
Monday, May 25, 2009
25 May 2009 8.34pm
Blog earlier...
cuz i want go out later...
scare don't have the time to blog...
i finally go and pierce my ear d...
afraid at first...
but now okay already...
will post some picture when i got time...
so you all can decide whether its nice or not...
as for my promise to her...
i think is too long already...
because i think it only can last 1 week...
starting to cool everything down...
disappointed...
frustrated...
uncontrollable...
most of all...
hurt...
i think maybe its the right time for me
to approach some other things...
stick at her whole time won't change a thing in my life...
until now i just realize...
i am really stupid...
for a girl...
i nearly let go of something important in my life...
that is happiness...
almost everyday...
i will moody because of her...
what is the point for all that...
does she really care about what i feel...
does she really even mean it when she say i got a place in her heart...
i really don't know...
and now i don't even want to know now...
just let it be...
cuz i want go out later...
scare don't have the time to blog...
i finally go and pierce my ear d...
afraid at first...
but now okay already...
will post some picture when i got time...
so you all can decide whether its nice or not...
as for my promise to her...
i think is too long already...
because i think it only can last 1 week...
starting to cool everything down...
disappointed...
frustrated...
uncontrollable...
most of all...
hurt...
i think maybe its the right time for me
to approach some other things...
stick at her whole time won't change a thing in my life...
until now i just realize...
i am really stupid...
for a girl...
i nearly let go of something important in my life...
that is happiness...
almost everyday...
i will moody because of her...
what is the point for all that...
does she really care about what i feel...
does she really even mean it when she say i got a place in her heart...
i really don't know...
and now i don't even want to know now...
just let it be...
25 May 2009 5.04am
Yesterday skip one day for blogging...
that is because...
clubbing night...
very long time didn't go clubbing already...
at there knew some new friends...
all okay...
but just friends...
my heart is still at the point we both left behind....
but yesterday...
quite sad...
because i feel we are getting further and further...
less message..
less conversation...
i try to be drunk...
but no matter how much i drink...
i still can't be drunk...
at the end hang up at mcd and hamid corner...
chat until morning just back home...
there is so much things i realize on that conversation...
enlighten my mind for a while...
last but not least...
i have made a decision for myself...
Project G for another 3 months...
if not i quit...
if i still fail to move your heart...
i will disappear immediately...
that is my promise...
time won't lie people
that is because...
clubbing night...
very long time didn't go clubbing already...
at there knew some new friends...
all okay...
but just friends...
my heart is still at the point we both left behind....
but yesterday...
quite sad...
because i feel we are getting further and further...
less message..
less conversation...
i try to be drunk...
but no matter how much i drink...
i still can't be drunk...
at the end hang up at mcd and hamid corner...
chat until morning just back home...
there is so much things i realize on that conversation...
enlighten my mind for a while...
last but not least...
i have made a decision for myself...
Project G for another 3 months...
if not i quit...
if i still fail to move your heart...
i will disappear immediately...
that is my promise...
time won't lie people
Saturday, May 23, 2009
23 May 2009 12.22am
Tired...
Gonna make this blog short today...
nothing special happened today...
same as normal routine
design design design...
until my eyes want to become blind already...
people in the pass which should be forgotten should be forgotten now...
meaningless to remember them...
good night everyone...
as for you...
there is a word saying
miles apart but close at heart
but we are
not close at heart but stay very near...
wierd hor...
after that incident..
we really become stranger le...
i don't know what to say to you already...
that's why every time i evade you...
i really hope time can prove everything now...
hopefully...
nitez la...
stupid elmo
Gonna make this blog short today...
nothing special happened today...
same as normal routine
design design design...
until my eyes want to become blind already...
people in the pass which should be forgotten should be forgotten now...
meaningless to remember them...
good night everyone...
as for you...
there is a word saying
miles apart but close at heart
but we are
not close at heart but stay very near...
wierd hor...
after that incident..
we really become stranger le...
i don't know what to say to you already...
that's why every time i evade you...
i really hope time can prove everything now...
hopefully...
nitez la...
stupid elmo
Friday, May 22, 2009
22 May 2009 3.46pm
Today...
i got a hokkien word..
wu gui chio pi bo be...
i think many people know this word..
the meaning is...
look at yourself before you say other people...
thats all i can say...
Prejudice is another thing out in my conversation today...
people tend to hurt others because of prejudice...
i think prejudice got 2 kinds...
one is for self defence..
and other is for jealousy...
think about this makes me think of someone i know for a long time...
bpmall looking for me to interview...
im not sure whether im going for it or not...
because its not the same thing i am doing now...
just give it a try...
there is no loss anyway...
as for her...
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth
If you can't love, don't show your heart
Nitez..
i got a hokkien word..
wu gui chio pi bo be...
i think many people know this word..
the meaning is...
look at yourself before you say other people...
thats all i can say...
Prejudice is another thing out in my conversation today...
people tend to hurt others because of prejudice...
i think prejudice got 2 kinds...
one is for self defence..
and other is for jealousy...
think about this makes me think of someone i know for a long time...
bpmall looking for me to interview...
im not sure whether im going for it or not...
because its not the same thing i am doing now...
just give it a try...
there is no loss anyway...
as for her...
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth
If you can't love, don't show your heart
Nitez..
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
20 May 2009 9.03pm
One Word For Today...
Tired...
not enough sleep for 2 days already...
7am sleep 9am wake up already...
i think i can be iron man already...
this two day...
all i do is...
design,design,design
play,play,play
chat,chat,chat
that is my routine for this past 2 days...
that's why i don't have time for blogging...
anyway...
just want to wish my friend
Chester
Happy 20th Birthday!!
Hope all your dreams may come true...
i hope mine can come true too...
Tired...
not enough sleep for 2 days already...
7am sleep 9am wake up already...
i think i can be iron man already...
this two day...
all i do is...
design,design,design
play,play,play
chat,chat,chat
that is my routine for this past 2 days...
that's why i don't have time for blogging...
anyway...
just want to wish my friend
Chester
Happy 20th Birthday!!
Hope all your dreams may come true...
i hope mine can come true too...
Monday, May 18, 2009
18 May 2009 2.17am
today...
as usual also...
wake up
brush teeth
eat
go bpmall
but there is something special today...
my best friends have come back...
long time didnt saw him already...
miss him very much...
im not gay okay...
but at the end...
let them tease me till i can't bear it...
as for her...
i still care bout her...
but i think sooner or later...
we both will be stranger...
everything has changed since that day...
i noe its a decision made by me...
and i noe the consequences...
but i just can do this...
nothing else i can do...
so i must let go things that does not belong to me...
accept the fact and move on my life...
as for the future things...
i can't predict future...
so wait till that time just say...
as for now...
live happily everyday...
thats the way i am...
but until now...
i am still the sotong u noe...
i havent changed a bit...
even the whole world don't accept you...
there is one place that accept you...
my heart
as usual also...
wake up
brush teeth
eat
go bpmall
but there is something special today...
my best friends have come back...
long time didnt saw him already...
miss him very much...
im not gay okay...
but at the end...
let them tease me till i can't bear it...
as for her...
i still care bout her...
but i think sooner or later...
we both will be stranger...
everything has changed since that day...
i noe its a decision made by me...
and i noe the consequences...
but i just can do this...
nothing else i can do...
so i must let go things that does not belong to me...
accept the fact and move on my life...
as for the future things...
i can't predict future...
so wait till that time just say...
as for now...
live happily everyday...
thats the way i am...
but until now...
i am still the sotong u noe...
i havent changed a bit...
even the whole world don't accept you...
there is one place that accept you...
my heart
Sunday, May 17, 2009
17 May 2009 4.12am
Today...
as usual...
wake up...
brush teeth...
bath...
bpmall...
home....
msn....
sleep...
nitez all...
no mood for today
as usual...
wake up...
brush teeth...
bath...
bpmall...
home....
msn....
sleep...
nitez all...
no mood for today
Saturday, May 16, 2009
16 May 2009 2.55am
Today...
a bit moody...
don't know why...
just wake up and feel body really uneasy...
told mum about the hair dressing course...
she ask me to think clearly...
now my head is full of bullshit...
A B or C?
i still haven't make my mind yet...
but 行行出状元...
rite...
today i text her...
just a simple message...Smile...
that's it...
its not that i can't hold it...
the fact is i want her to be same like me...
be happy everyday...
let bad memories be swept away and good memories to be keep in our heart...
i know its really hard...
but try endure it a little more while...
because i know you will get well soon...
don't worry about me...
i will be fine...
just remember our promise...
1st on your list when you are available...
because im still waiting at the point we both left behind...
a bit moody...
don't know why...
just wake up and feel body really uneasy...
told mum about the hair dressing course...
she ask me to think clearly...
now my head is full of bullshit...
A B or C?
i still haven't make my mind yet...
but 行行出状元...
rite...
today i text her...
just a simple message...Smile...
that's it...
its not that i can't hold it...
the fact is i want her to be same like me...
be happy everyday...
let bad memories be swept away and good memories to be keep in our heart...
i know its really hard...
but try endure it a little more while...
because i know you will get well soon...
don't worry about me...
i will be fine...
just remember our promise...
1st on your list when you are available...
because im still waiting at the point we both left behind...
Friday, May 15, 2009
15 May 2009 2.52am
Today...
everything go fine...
then whole day wasted at saloon...
my purpose is to go and find somebody to chat...
cheer myself up...
then Dash say her name out...
what the hell...
spoil my mood only...
later...at the afternoon...
i try to get out from the saloon...
go and see house with dad and mum...
the place is at sri gading...
named Pura Kencana...
really nice house...
but still need to see 1st...
i saw ur message already...
thanks for promise me that...
i really hope it will come true...
but please dun use last time or what...
im not going to die okay...
i still owe you a mickey mouse drawing ler...
haha...
y so sad wor...
silly gal...
remember those memories...
be happy la...
those memories even money cannot buy...
even ur bf also cannot give u...
haha...
your eyes how d...
don't make me sad...
please okay...
cheer up...
do you trust me?
if you trust me...just do me a favor...
be happy...
thats all...
如果你是我的，你就是我的
如果你不是我的，就算我杀了你的男朋友，
你也不是我的。
明白吗？
柔娜
everything go fine...
then whole day wasted at saloon...
my purpose is to go and find somebody to chat...
cheer myself up...
then Dash say her name out...
what the hell...
spoil my mood only...
later...at the afternoon...
i try to get out from the saloon...
go and see house with dad and mum...
the place is at sri gading...
named Pura Kencana...
really nice house...
but still need to see 1st...
i saw ur message already...
thanks for promise me that...
i really hope it will come true...
but please dun use last time or what...
im not going to die okay...
i still owe you a mickey mouse drawing ler...
haha...
y so sad wor...
silly gal...
remember those memories...
be happy la...
those memories even money cannot buy...
even ur bf also cannot give u...
haha...
your eyes how d...
don't make me sad...
please okay...
cheer up...
do you trust me?
if you trust me...just do me a favor...
be happy...
thats all...
如果你是我的，你就是我的
如果你不是我的，就算我杀了你的男朋友，
你也不是我的。
明白吗？
柔娜
Thursday, May 14, 2009
14 May 2009 4.38am
Finally..
I Put down the bag im carrying...
really ease down the pain...
just a couple of hours before...
i just let go of a precious thing in my life...
how stupid i am to let it go...
but i also cant do a thing about it...
she has her limit...
so do i...
she cant fulfill what i want...
so i had to do this decision...
sorry...
i was kinda harsh on you...
but its for our own good...
i noe u have ur reason...
so do i...
we both fair now...
1-1
i don't know if you will still view my blog or not...
but i will always note down what i have done everyday here...
so that u can know am i being well or not...
there is many thing i haven't told you...
let me tell you at here then...
i believe in something called fate...
fate brought us together...
but fate will never make people go away...
what mine is mine...
what is not mine, how hard i want it i also can't get it...
you understand this?
don't cry silly girl...
what for crying...
crying wont help anything...
its not yet the end for you and me...
as i said before...
i will wait...
i will wait till you don't have boyfriend...
now is not the suitable time for me to appear...
i will become batman again...
hiding in the dark...
when the timing comes...
we really need fate to bring us together again...
as for the matter we are friends or not...
lets cool down for the time being first...
i will tell you when the time is right...
i really wish you have a happy time when im not around...
i will take care of myself...
don't worry about me...
nothing will happen to me...
do take care of yourself...
there wont be sotong again in your life...
won't have people sms you all the time...
and no surprise gift from me anymore...
what i hope now is...
fate will bring us together again...
till we meet again...
my love...
I Put down the bag im carrying...
really ease down the pain...
just a couple of hours before...
i just let go of a precious thing in my life...
how stupid i am to let it go...
but i also cant do a thing about it...
she has her limit...
so do i...
she cant fulfill what i want...
so i had to do this decision...
sorry...
i was kinda harsh on you...
but its for our own good...
i noe u have ur reason...
so do i...
we both fair now...
1-1
i don't know if you will still view my blog or not...
but i will always note down what i have done everyday here...
so that u can know am i being well or not...
there is many thing i haven't told you...
let me tell you at here then...
i believe in something called fate...
fate brought us together...
but fate will never make people go away...
what mine is mine...
what is not mine, how hard i want it i also can't get it...
you understand this?
don't cry silly girl...
what for crying...
crying wont help anything...
its not yet the end for you and me...
as i said before...
i will wait...
i will wait till you don't have boyfriend...
now is not the suitable time for me to appear...
i will become batman again...
hiding in the dark...
when the timing comes...
we really need fate to bring us together again...
as for the matter we are friends or not...
lets cool down for the time being first...
i will tell you when the time is right...
i really wish you have a happy time when im not around...
i will take care of myself...
don't worry about me...
nothing will happen to me...
do take care of yourself...
there wont be sotong again in your life...
won't have people sms you all the time...
and no surprise gift from me anymore...
what i hope now is...
fate will bring us together again...
till we meet again...
my love...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
13 May 2009 8.54pm
Its raining heavily outside...
same like my heart...
its the 2nd day i cant be happy...
what is wrong with me...
just now...
i nearly met an accident...
i cant stop thinking about sotong...
then i didnt notice that it was red light in front...
luckily...my action is fast...
if not...i think the accident will be pretty bad...
because i didnt wear my sitbelt...
there is one question keep going in my head...
Should One Be Humble In Relationship?
the answer i have for now is 50/50
must depend on the current situation...
but when this problem comes to me...
i always lose...
should i try and get what i want now?
should i strive my best for my love ones?
i let those decision to be made by her...
The Lollipop
A special "Sweet"tasted candy.
The Candle
"Lighten" you up in the dark.
The Moon
Your "Direction" when you are lost.
The Game
Never a "Relationship"
The Relationship
Just "Us"
The Day
When you and me become "We"
"Love"
The only true special feeling between "You" and "Me"
"You"
The one and only in my "Life"
same like my heart...
its the 2nd day i cant be happy...
what is wrong with me...
just now...
i nearly met an accident...
i cant stop thinking about sotong...
then i didnt notice that it was red light in front...
luckily...my action is fast...
if not...i think the accident will be pretty bad...
because i didnt wear my sitbelt...
there is one question keep going in my head...
Should One Be Humble In Relationship?
the answer i have for now is 50/50
must depend on the current situation...
but when this problem comes to me...
i always lose...
should i try and get what i want now?
should i strive my best for my love ones?
i let those decision to be made by her...
The Lollipop
A special "Sweet"tasted candy.
The Candle
"Lighten" you up in the dark.
The Moon
Your "Direction" when you are lost.
The Game
Never a "Relationship"
The Relationship
Just "Us"
The Day
When you and me become "We"
"Love"
The only true special feeling between "You" and "Me"
"You"
The one and only in my "Life"
13 May 2009 12.08am
Sitting in front of my computer...
watching the samsung lcd...
thinking of what is going to happen next...
there is only two possibilities now...
hope
despair
which one should be mine today...
its the 1st time i cant be happy...
because i know i make a big trouble out...
i really wish to stop...
i really want to end...
because its killing me...
the feel i am in right now its like waiting for the doctor to tell me what sickness i have...
nervous...
afraid...
until now...the fear still very fresh in my mind...
what i afraid most...
the fear of being alone...
from start to now...
i already know this thing is going to happen...
but i insist to keep on...
because i think
if u be true to your love ones...
they will be moved...
but i guess i am wrong...
love is not everything...
its just a simple word to show that u care for the other part...
silly me to think love is greater than anything...
i really have done a big mistake...
i am really sorry...
if u saw this blog...
i wish to tell u that...
if he ask u to choose either one of us...
choose him...
not me...
please do it for me...
i am really sorry about all that happen on you...
i'm willing to bear all the consequences for you...
even if it has to sacrifice you...
watching the samsung lcd...
thinking of what is going to happen next...
there is only two possibilities now...
hope
despair
which one should be mine today...
its the 1st time i cant be happy...
because i know i make a big trouble out...
i really wish to stop...
i really want to end...
because its killing me...
the feel i am in right now its like waiting for the doctor to tell me what sickness i have...
nervous...
afraid...
until now...the fear still very fresh in my mind...
what i afraid most...
the fear of being alone...
from start to now...
i already know this thing is going to happen...
but i insist to keep on...
because i think
if u be true to your love ones...
they will be moved...
but i guess i am wrong...
love is not everything...
its just a simple word to show that u care for the other part...
silly me to think love is greater than anything...
i really have done a big mistake...
i am really sorry...
if u saw this blog...
i wish to tell u that...
if he ask u to choose either one of us...
choose him...
not me...
please do it for me...
i am really sorry about all that happen on you...
i'm willing to bear all the consequences for you...
even if it has to sacrifice you...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
12 May 2009 3.11am
its been 3 days i didnt write le..
because my kl friends come to find me..
at my hometown..
Hao,YCT and emperor...
thanks for coming to find me...
i hope these few days u guys have fun...
these 3 days...i learn a lot and i think of a lot...
should i or should i not?
this is the question i keep thinking...
today...my cousin ask me...
sotong like that u can meh?
how to answer...
i just answer im nobody...
today...i dunno y i really miss sotong...
got some kind of intuition tell me that she is unhappy...
because i got send her a message...
the message is about she is about to lose me as well...
im telling the fact...
because i really don't like this feel anymore...
i really cannot stand it...
but got any use?
no use at all...
haiz...really tired to think of this stuff already...
tired...
frustrated...
stress...
deep shit...
f**k....
sleep better..
because my kl friends come to find me..
at my hometown..
Hao,YCT and emperor...
thanks for coming to find me...
i hope these few days u guys have fun...
these 3 days...i learn a lot and i think of a lot...
should i or should i not?
this is the question i keep thinking...
today...my cousin ask me...
sotong like that u can meh?
how to answer...
i just answer im nobody...
today...i dunno y i really miss sotong...
got some kind of intuition tell me that she is unhappy...
because i got send her a message...
the message is about she is about to lose me as well...
im telling the fact...
because i really don't like this feel anymore...
i really cannot stand it...
but got any use?
no use at all...
haiz...really tired to think of this stuff already...
tired...
frustrated...
stress...
deep shit...
f**k....
sleep better..
Saturday, May 9, 2009
9 May 2009 4.10am
Yesterday didn't write blog...
too tired already...
and nothing much happened yesterday...
but today...things a bit rush for me...
rush here rush there...
really tired...
when back bp...
friends starting to call...
ask me go out yamcha again...
aiks...
i just reach...need to go out again...
now..my pc is around me...
i can start my sea view project already...
yes...
hope i really can make it this time...
big project for me...
that all happened today...
nothing much...
as for sotong...
i feel she is a little bit weird...
seems like she hiding something from me...
i hope is i over reacting...
now...i can peacefully log off my computer...
and lay on my bed...
good night...
too tired already...
and nothing much happened yesterday...
but today...things a bit rush for me...
rush here rush there...
really tired...
when back bp...
friends starting to call...
ask me go out yamcha again...
aiks...
i just reach...need to go out again...
now..my pc is around me...
i can start my sea view project already...
yes...
hope i really can make it this time...
big project for me...
that all happened today...
nothing much...
as for sotong...
i feel she is a little bit weird...
seems like she hiding something from me...
i hope is i over reacting...
now...i can peacefully log off my computer...
and lay on my bed...
good night...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
7 May 2009 2.32am
Havent back kl...sienz
cuz i overslept today...
really is pig...cant help it...7am juz sleep...
how to wake up early...
SLEEP EARLY LA...bodoh...
today...nothing much happened...
become kuli at hugo shop...
help him paint his shop...
and then fetch my bro to guitar lesson...
he has improved a lot...
can follow people sing...
and he play guitar...
good job...keep up the good work...
as for sotong...
hahah...really funny today...
let hugo and sotong sis tease...
how embarassing...
my ears and face turn red immediately...
i saw her jeans today...
quite nice...
but i don't like the button...
too girly...
not suitable for me...wuek...
sotong...take care of ur body la...
always hear u say u here pain there pain de ler...aiks...
like amah d ler...
really cant help u d la...
haha...finally i got my answer to the sms she sent me...
im really happy to hear that...
but she still got bf...
that means i have to wait...
sienz....
but good things need to be wait...rite?
hahaha...i treat her like some item...good things pulak...
you are not things okay...
you are something special to me...
you are not a bad gal okay...
you did nothing wrong...
its my fault...
its i keep pestering u thats y u did this thing...
im sorry to let u think u are a bad gal...
you said you don't know wat is the feel of happy...
when i hear that...
i feel sad...
u and ur bf be together...
should be happy...
but u tell me u don't know that feel...
haiz...then
nothing la...
i promise i wont say it again...
this is for you...
I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I carved your name on the wood,
but the woodpecker peck it away.
But when I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
cuz i overslept today...
really is pig...cant help it...7am juz sleep...
how to wake up early...
SLEEP EARLY LA...bodoh...
today...nothing much happened...
become kuli at hugo shop...
help him paint his shop...
and then fetch my bro to guitar lesson...
he has improved a lot...
can follow people sing...
and he play guitar...
good job...keep up the good work...
as for sotong...
hahah...really funny today...
let hugo and sotong sis tease...
how embarassing...
my ears and face turn red immediately...
i saw her jeans today...
quite nice...
but i don't like the button...
too girly...
not suitable for me...wuek...
sotong...take care of ur body la...
always hear u say u here pain there pain de ler...aiks...
like amah d ler...
really cant help u d la...
haha...finally i got my answer to the sms she sent me...
im really happy to hear that...
but she still got bf...
that means i have to wait...
sienz....
but good things need to be wait...rite?
hahaha...i treat her like some item...good things pulak...
you are not things okay...
you are something special to me...
you are not a bad gal okay...
you did nothing wrong...
its my fault...
its i keep pestering u thats y u did this thing...
im sorry to let u think u are a bad gal...
you said you don't know wat is the feel of happy...
when i hear that...
i feel sad...
u and ur bf be together...
should be happy...
but u tell me u don't know that feel...
haiz...then
nothing la...
i promise i wont say it again...
this is for you...
I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I carved your name on the wood,
but the woodpecker peck it away.
But when I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
6 May 2009 4.45am
Today weather is damn hot...
even its at night...
im also sweating like a pig...
talking about pig...H1N1 virus seems resurrect again...
No pork..No Pork okay...dangerous...
today...i go out the whole day...
tired..
because my routine everyday is the same..
go out..smoke..eat..smoke..talk..smoke..think..smoke and then smoke again...
seems busy...lol..
smoking kills...
sotong today seem moody...
and she doesnt look quite good...
doesn't know what happen to her...
because i didnt saw her...
somebody told me that...
but yet again...
we argue on some stupid question...
its my fault la...
i wont ask it again...
today...quite happy...
sotong sent me a message...
i don't know what does that means...
but im really happy...
i really hope u mean it...
because its been such a long time i didnt receive such message...
thank you...
5am already...
i must take a rest...
because im going back to kl later...
hope all things will go well when im not around...
will be back on friday or saturday
and to my mummy...
Mum u are the greatest mother in the world...
Carrying me in ur stomach for 10 months...
Using ur both hand to raise me up for 21years...
Repeatingly care me like no one else...
im so fortunate to have u as my mum...
i love you so much mummy...mwaks...
be happy always!!
even its at night...
im also sweating like a pig...
talking about pig...H1N1 virus seems resurrect again...
No pork..No Pork okay...dangerous...
today...i go out the whole day...
tired..
because my routine everyday is the same..
go out..smoke..eat..smoke..talk..smoke..think..smoke and then smoke again...
seems busy...lol..
smoking kills...
sotong today seem moody...
and she doesnt look quite good...
doesn't know what happen to her...
because i didnt saw her...
somebody told me that...
but yet again...
we argue on some stupid question...
its my fault la...
i wont ask it again...
today...quite happy...
sotong sent me a message...
i don't know what does that means...
but im really happy...
i really hope u mean it...
because its been such a long time i didnt receive such message...
thank you...
5am already...
i must take a rest...
because im going back to kl later...
hope all things will go well when im not around...
will be back on friday or saturday
and to my mummy...
Mum u are the greatest mother in the world...
Carrying me in ur stomach for 10 months...
Using ur both hand to raise me up for 21years...
Repeatingly care me like no one else...
im so fortunate to have u as my mum...
i love you so much mummy...mwaks...
be happy always!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
5 May 2009 3.25am
its been my habit to write blog at this time already...
dunno y i like to write blog at this time too...
today...i think of many stuff...
future and past...
but most of it is past...
cuz my friends keep laughing at my past...
but there is one question i think they ask at a appropriate time...
they ask me, am i still angry at my ex...
without thinking...i said no...
although she very mean towards me...
but i really forget about what she did..
she did nothing wrong at that time...
its my fault at first...
because my personality is like this...
i dun like to express my feeling to others...
maybe she feel insecure with me...
what she did was right...
she pursue her own happiness...
now when i saw she is happy...
deep inside my heart...i am smiling...
and i never had a chance to say thank you to her...
if u saw this...
i really thanked you for choosing the right decision...
because this impact makes me grow up a lot..
now i have a totally different perspective on relationship...
as for sotong..
she seemed moody today..
i dunno why..
i didnt ask..
and i don't dare to guess..
because she don't like to express it too..
same as me...
i just feel it..
don't know why..
lead everyday with a smile...
be happy always...
burst out with laughter everytime...
make everyday a meaningful day...
Monday, May 4, 2009
4 May 2009 3.33am
Finally...im very relaxed now...
my bag has been lighter 50kg liao...
haha...my question is answered...
but there is a question still inside my head...
after all these...wat i am doing actually...
i really don't know...
why i want to know the answer?
why i want to know the truth?
i really don't know...
after tat conversation with sotong...
i think i make her realize something...
i dunno...i juz guess she realize something...
and it make me realize something too...
at that moment...i think only me and her notice it...
and it hurts me when i noe she cry...
i dun wan this to happen de...
but bor pian...i need to do like this to make her say the truth...
but what i most angry in the conversation...
is she ask me dun waste time...
i didnt okay...
im sorry again...i feel really bad for wat i done...
suddenly i feel we are going back thru time...
back to the old days...
where i start wooing her...
haha...when think back...i feel kinda funny...
in a blink of eye...its been 6months d...
many say i stupid, foolish, idiot...
ask me go find a new one...
intro new gals for me...
keep scolding me...
but i dun care...
i just feel...she is the one i need...
mayb this sound stupid...
but when she is around...all i can see is her...no one else....
i noe i cant love her...
i noe i cant have her...
but im still not giving up...
until one day...
she get married...sound kinda stupid...
but i wish to see her happy,
with or without me...
maybe this is life...
we got fate but we don't share the same destiny...
to sotong...
i noe u said he didnt dui bu qi u, and he zui jing hai man guan xin u de..
its not wrong..
but last time i also like this...yet wat happen to me...
its not that i don't believe him..
but this thing really hard to say...
and even if he do wrong...
u will forgive him...because i can see u really love him...
so i can't be compare to him...because we havent start anything yet...
but i just want you to know one thing...
every decision u make...
no matter good or bad...
there will be someone sacrificing...
don't ever be a good person...
because the more good u be...the more hurt the person is...
i noe in ur heart...i gain a special place...
as in my heart u also gain a special place too...
this place u also noe...nobody can replace it one...
so treasure it okay...
today things...i didnt mean it one...
i just wan u to realize...
that even what u did that hurt me...
im still at ur side...
and don't always say donno...
don't be afraid to get what u like...
love isnt build in one day..
love needed time to rebuild...
even if u ask me wheter i love you or not...
i will also say no...
because we still didnt try it out together...
so that is not call love...
we juz like each other...
not love...
silly gal...
Everytime I only can see the shadow of you...
but anyway i still like you...
my bag has been lighter 50kg liao...
haha...my question is answered...
but there is a question still inside my head...
after all these...wat i am doing actually...
i really don't know...
why i want to know the answer?
why i want to know the truth?
i really don't know...
after tat conversation with sotong...
i think i make her realize something...
i dunno...i juz guess she realize something...
and it make me realize something too...
at that moment...i think only me and her notice it...
and it hurts me when i noe she cry...
i dun wan this to happen de...
but bor pian...i need to do like this to make her say the truth...
but what i most angry in the conversation...
is she ask me dun waste time...
i didnt okay...
im sorry again...i feel really bad for wat i done...
suddenly i feel we are going back thru time...
back to the old days...
where i start wooing her...
haha...when think back...i feel kinda funny...
in a blink of eye...its been 6months d...
many say i stupid, foolish, idiot...
ask me go find a new one...
intro new gals for me...
keep scolding me...
but i dun care...
i just feel...she is the one i need...
mayb this sound stupid...
but when she is around...all i can see is her...no one else....
i noe i cant love her...
i noe i cant have her...
but im still not giving up...
until one day...
she get married...sound kinda stupid...
but i wish to see her happy,
with or without me...
maybe this is life...
we got fate but we don't share the same destiny...
to sotong...
i noe u said he didnt dui bu qi u, and he zui jing hai man guan xin u de..
its not wrong..
but last time i also like this...yet wat happen to me...
its not that i don't believe him..
but this thing really hard to say...
and even if he do wrong...
u will forgive him...because i can see u really love him...
so i can't be compare to him...because we havent start anything yet...
but i just want you to know one thing...
every decision u make...
no matter good or bad...
there will be someone sacrificing...
don't ever be a good person...
because the more good u be...the more hurt the person is...
i noe in ur heart...i gain a special place...
as in my heart u also gain a special place too...
this place u also noe...nobody can replace it one...
so treasure it okay...
today things...i didnt mean it one...
i just wan u to realize...
that even what u did that hurt me...
im still at ur side...
and don't always say donno...
don't be afraid to get what u like...
love isnt build in one day..
love needed time to rebuild...
even if u ask me wheter i love you or not...
i will also say no...
because we still didnt try it out together...
so that is not call love...
we juz like each other...
not love...
silly gal...
Everytime I only can see the shadow of you...
but anyway i still like you...
Sunday, May 3, 2009
3 May 2009 3.34am
yesterday didnt write blog...
no mood to write...many things happen...
mostly is bad things...damn...
forget bout yesterday...lets talk about today...
nothing happened...
just let my friends tease me today...
haiz...
sotong go to pub again...
they said why she love go to pub always...
i said to them...
i also always going...
so i cant stop her from going...
its their freedom, not mine...
and i have no position to stop her...
im not her anyone..
i realize something today...
what i did, did she really appreciate it...
or she just treat me as a friend...
i really cant describe it...
sometimes she really close with me...
but sometimes im just like a friend...
that makes me really insecure...
hugo they all ask me to forget it...
i also got think of that...
but its been half year...
i dun wan to give up half way...
damn stress and sad...
as for sotong...
she had her life...
i cant stop her what she like to do...
go ahead ba...
mayb someday...
u will realize...
who is good enough for u...
nitez
no mood to write...many things happen...
mostly is bad things...damn...
forget bout yesterday...lets talk about today...
nothing happened...
just let my friends tease me today...
haiz...
sotong go to pub again...
they said why she love go to pub always...
i said to them...
i also always going...
so i cant stop her from going...
its their freedom, not mine...
and i have no position to stop her...
im not her anyone..
i realize something today...
what i did, did she really appreciate it...
or she just treat me as a friend...
i really cant describe it...
sometimes she really close with me...
but sometimes im just like a friend...
that makes me really insecure...
hugo they all ask me to forget it...
i also got think of that...
but its been half year...
i dun wan to give up half way...
damn stress and sad...
as for sotong...
she had her life...
i cant stop her what she like to do...
go ahead ba...
mayb someday...
u will realize...
who is good enough for u...
nitez
Friday, May 1, 2009
1 May 2009 1.47pm
currently listening to this song...NEYO MAD
quite nice...
lyrics got some coincidence with my life journey..
some la...not all la...but i think many also been thru this situation before...
rated it 4 out of 5 stars...
today sotong back bp got sms me...its 8.55am
wow...she juz sleep about a few hour then rush back bp already...
i think she is very tired...
but what kind of bf is that...haiz...
i have no position to say him...
as long as she is happy...
im happy...
i almost crazy today....
im very fan and frustrated...
i didnt tell anyone..
because nobody can help me...
even sotong...
its natural..
i don't like say my feelings toward others...
mayb thats why all my relationship don't work well ba...
many people ask me...are you happy now...
i didnt answer at all...
im not answering not because i dont know how to answer...
but its because even i tell them...they also ask me to give up...
i noe what im doing now may not give me the happiness i want...
mayb it will hurt me more...
but the fact now is...
only she is the one that cheer me up when im down...
she is the one that accompany me day and night...
she is the one that encourage me when im afraid...
that is enough for not making me giving up...
She meant very much to me...
time passes very fast...
im still pursuing my life...
should i or should i not...
i don't know...
life is like gambling...
just as a person said...
there is always a chance if you try it...
im trying now...
God...please help me out of this misery...
Please Give me a chance again...
i promise i will be good again...
i promise
quite nice...
lyrics got some coincidence with my life journey..
some la...not all la...but i think many also been thru this situation before...
rated it 4 out of 5 stars...
today sotong back bp got sms me...its 8.55am
wow...she juz sleep about a few hour then rush back bp already...
i think she is very tired...
but what kind of bf is that...haiz...
i have no position to say him...
as long as she is happy...
im happy...
i almost crazy today....
im very fan and frustrated...
i didnt tell anyone..
because nobody can help me...
even sotong...
its natural..
i don't like say my feelings toward others...
mayb thats why all my relationship don't work well ba...
many people ask me...are you happy now...
i didnt answer at all...
im not answering not because i dont know how to answer...
but its because even i tell them...they also ask me to give up...
i noe what im doing now may not give me the happiness i want...
mayb it will hurt me more...
but the fact now is...
only she is the one that cheer me up when im down...
she is the one that accompany me day and night...
she is the one that encourage me when im afraid...
that is enough for not making me giving up...
She meant very much to me...
time passes very fast...
im still pursuing my life...
should i or should i not...
i don't know...
life is like gambling...
just as a person said...
there is always a chance if you try it...
im trying now...
God...please help me out of this misery...
Please Give me a chance again...
i promise i will be good again...
i promise
1 May 2009 4.04am
juz finish a game of dota...
lose...can win one...but suddenly noe she is at melaka...
no heart to play already...
haiz...why i become like this
i also don't know...
maybe its myself have put too much into her already...
i keep telling myself to stop thinking about this...
but i just can't...
to watch the woman i like going out with another guy...
its like slicing my own flesh with a blunted knife...
painful....
but what can i do...
she belongs to another guy..
not mine...i cant do a thing about it...
just hoping that..
everything will go my way...
Obstacles are meant to be broken,
but i cant break it....
hope i can...hope so
lose...can win one...but suddenly noe she is at melaka...
no heart to play already...
haiz...why i become like this
i also don't know...
maybe its myself have put too much into her already...
i keep telling myself to stop thinking about this...
but i just can't...
to watch the woman i like going out with another guy...
its like slicing my own flesh with a blunted knife...
painful....
but what can i do...
she belongs to another guy..
not mine...i cant do a thing about it...
just hoping that..
everything will go my way...
Obstacles are meant to be broken,
but i cant break it....
hope i can...hope so
Thursday, April 30, 2009
30 April 2009 11.40pm
today...nothing happen much
sotong-got sms me at the morning
mum-didnt say anything bout my interview
dad-ask me where to work
interview-the boss is so damn zzz
the interview itself last for an hour...many things he said...about profit sharing...blah blah blah...im not interested in that at alll
all i want now is gain some basic knowledge about my career and all he do is keep ask me profit sharing with him...siao...
but he do give me some assignment to do...sea view assignment...
im still considering wheter want to work with him or not...
he looks like a nice boss..but i still need to consider
mum ask me to look for another company...
perhaps...i will
its 11.51pm now...im going out again...
really stress and frustrated...
continue tonight...
sotong-got sms me at the morning
mum-didnt say anything bout my interview
dad-ask me where to work
interview-the boss is so damn zzz
the interview itself last for an hour...many things he said...about profit sharing...blah blah blah...im not interested in that at alll
all i want now is gain some basic knowledge about my career and all he do is keep ask me profit sharing with him...siao...
but he do give me some assignment to do...sea view assignment...
im still considering wheter want to work with him or not...
he looks like a nice boss..but i still need to consider
mum ask me to look for another company...
perhaps...i will
its 11.51pm now...im going out again...
really stress and frustrated...
continue tonight...
29 April 2009
Im back again...haha...this time dunno will last how long...
y everyone start blogging also say finally back one...wierd...
today...its been a hell of a day...
interviewing-failed
fetching brother-sien
quarrel with mum-lagi sien
sotong-hear his bf coming back...damn sien
haiz...things didnt go my way today...but luckily got my friends accompany me...
if not...i think i will rot in my room sleeping and thinking lots of rubbish...
time has passed and now it 3.32am...
tomorow waiting for another interviewing...
hope it will be succesful la...
then it will make my burden a lot lighter...
as for her...i dunno i can stand how much longer...
i dunno how to describe this feeling im into...
i wanted to stop..but i cant...
so do her...she will become moody if i said stop...
love like...i already dunno wat kind of feeling is that...
i juz noe that this gal is my everything now...
i really wished that everything will be going well as i predicted
hope so...
dota time
y everyone start blogging also say finally back one...wierd...
today...its been a hell of a day...
interviewing-failed
fetching brother-sien
quarrel with mum-lagi sien
sotong-hear his bf coming back...damn sien
haiz...things didnt go my way today...but luckily got my friends accompany me...
if not...i think i will rot in my room sleeping and thinking lots of rubbish...
time has passed and now it 3.32am...
tomorow waiting for another interviewing...
hope it will be succesful la...
then it will make my burden a lot lighter...
as for her...i dunno i can stand how much longer...
i dunno how to describe this feeling im into...
i wanted to stop..but i cant...
so do her...she will become moody if i said stop...
love like...i already dunno wat kind of feeling is that...
i juz noe that this gal is my everything now...
i really wished that everything will be going well as i predicted
hope so...
dota time
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