Truth 6.41am

To Dear,

sorry that i back early today...
and i lied that i was at home...
actually i was at minyak beku that time...
i am so fan...

i wanted to chat with u...
i wanted you to acc me...
i didnt care wheter u talk with me or not...
i juz want u to be by my side...
but u wanted to sleep...
so i let u sleep...
i try to call u a few times but u didnt answer...

that is the time i really need you...
but u rather choose sleep...

for one month...
i only noe that...
i love you more than you love me...
i care you more than you care me...

still remember that time my heart pain...
still remember the time that i tremble...
still remember the time i said i cough blood...

all i get was a rub on my chest...
then you sleep..
thats all...

at that moment...
i realize that...
im not that important for you...
don't try to lie me...
i know it...
i also have feelings same as you do...
because treat people good is a natural thing...
not i said d u juz do...

tats y i always say...
wat i get was not same as him...

its like a one man show...
you understand ma...
im only doing those thing to make me feel better...
im only doing those thing to make you feel happy...
and the truth is...
im not happy at all...
im juz doing my responsibility as you BF...

i noe i choose this road myself...
nobody force me to walk this road...
even u told me that u wont blame me if i leave...

i noe...
but do u noe i really really love you...

everytime i wake up..
i will look at my phone...
to see if you got sms me saying "dear, i wake up already"
but i never receive that message from you...

if i woke up early...
i will ask you to wake up...
u got wake me up...because is i ask u to wake me up...

even if im at work...
i will call u everytime im free...
but i never receive any call from u when u at work...even though u are free...

i didnt blame you...
i just blame myself for not knowing u earlier than him...
im sorry that i am not by urside earlier...

actually...
i know a lot of things...
but i pretend to be stupid only...
those thing i wont tell u...
i will keep it in my heart...
because if i said it out...
it is still the same...

you said to me before..
i treat u really good...
better than him...
but why i get this kind of treatment?

dear..
i juz want u to understand...
what i really feel these one month...
i dont want u to become someone i want u to be...
i want u to be someone u want to be...

that's why i never force you to make any decision...
because i noe even if u made decision...
you will be hurt...
i dont want to see you get hurt...

i think i used to much of my heart to treat you...
thats why u didnt care about what i feel...
treat me back as i treat you...
and you will know what is my feeling...

after you see this message...
i dont want you to say sorry to me...

i juz want you to understand...

thats all...

good nite dear...

work hard in your piano...
don't be lazy...
cuz im also working hard to learn it...
so that one day i can play piano with you...

we both work hard together okay...

just as i said...
Im always by urside when u need me..

From elmo :p