18 September 2009 1.25am

Suddenly...

feel don't want to have my birthday again this year...
nothing special actually...
just a birthday...

sometimes i wonder if i don't have birthday...
would it be nice?
but without birthday there is no me in this world...

the same feel come back again this time...

got gain got loss...

hate this kind of feeling very much...

so i rather be alone when my birthday reach...
it's much more happier than be in the crowd...

but at the same time...
i wish i also can have my birthday...
using my way...
weird way...haha

i never cut a cake personally for me since i was small...
really...
but this is not a reason that i hate birthday okay...
there are other reason that i hate my birthday..

i still remember when i was small...
i always see my friend they all have birthday party...
i also wished i have one too...
but mum say...
children make what party...

then grow up already...
wish to have birthday party at my house...
but think of it...
its quite troublesome...
need to trouble mum to cook and clean all those mess left behind...

then at the age 21...
this birthday is the most memorable birthday i ever had...
but what pass is pass...

i can say that from i start gaining knowledge...
i never had a good birthday...
bad things comes at my birthday...
but its okay...
after so many years...
I'm getting used to it...

for this year wish...
i have given it to a person i love...
so this year i don't have any wish left...

so i decided to use next year wish...
i wish my bro will get well soon...
i want to have fun with you again bro...
miss you...
wait me okay...
i am coming this Saturday...

looking at the sky...
gazing at the stars...
hallucinating...
wondering...

weird hobby isn't it...

countdown...
10 days...to my hellday...