Truth 6.41am

To Dear,

sorry that i back early today...
and i lied that i was at home...
actually i was at minyak beku that time...
i am so fan...

i wanted to chat with u...
i wanted you to acc me...
i didnt care wheter u talk with me or not...
i juz want u to be by my side...
but u wanted to sleep...
so i let u sleep...
i try to call u a few times but u didnt answer...

that is the time i really need you...
but u rather choose sleep...

for one month...
i only noe that...
i love you more than you love me...
i care you more than you care me...

still remember that time my heart pain...
still remember the time that i tremble...
still remember the time i said i cough blood...

all i get was a rub on my chest...
then you sleep..
thats all...

at that moment...
i realize that...
im not that important for you...
don't try to lie me...
i know it...
i also have feelings same as you do...
because treat people good is a natural thing...
not i said d u juz do...

tats y i always say...
wat i get was not same as him...

its like a one man show...
you understand ma...
im only doing those thing to make me feel better...
im only doing those thing to make you feel happy...
and the truth is...
im not happy at all...
im juz doing my responsibility as you BF...

i noe i choose this road myself...
nobody force me to walk this road...
even u told me that u wont blame me if i leave...

i noe...
but do u noe i really really love you...

everytime i wake up..
i will look at my phone...
to see if you got sms me saying "dear, i wake up already"
but i never receive that message from you...

if i woke up early...
i will ask you to wake up...
u got wake me up...because is i ask u to wake me up...

even if im at work...
i will call u everytime im free...
but i never receive any call from u when u at work...even though u are free...

i didnt blame you...
i just blame myself for not knowing u earlier than him...
im sorry that i am not by urside earlier...

actually...
i know a lot of things...
but i pretend to be stupid only...
those thing i wont tell u...
i will keep it in my heart...
because if i said it out...
it is still the same...

you said to me before..
i treat u really good...
better than him...
but why i get this kind of treatment?

dear..
i juz want u to understand...
what i really feel these one month...
i dont want u to become someone i want u to be...
i want u to be someone u want to be...

that's why i never force you to make any decision...
because i noe even if u made decision...
you will be hurt...
i dont want to see you get hurt...

i think i used to much of my heart to treat you...
thats why u didnt care about what i feel...
treat me back as i treat you...
and you will know what is my feeling...

after you see this message...
i dont want you to say sorry to me...

i juz want you to understand...

thats all...

good nite dear...

work hard in your piano...
don't be lazy...
cuz im also working hard to learn it...
so that one day i can play piano with you...

we both work hard together okay...

just as i said...
Im always by urside when u need me..

From elmo :p

19 July 2009 4.52am

The Feeling of being lied...

hate it...
despise it...

why i should be covered up...

why i must use those stupid excuse to cover myself...

why i must be apply on those stupid excuse...

WTF....

Im really dissapointed...

08 July 2009 5.20am

I finally said my feeling out...

really relax...stress free...

1 or 2
is just that simple...

its never mind actually...
i got my answer for today conversation...
you have tried your best...
it's okay...
nobody is going to blame you...
neither am i...

i really thankful that i have a chance...
i can't ask more than that already...

i have think really carefully...
and now it depends on you...

but i'm still a guy...
i really wish u choose me...

but don't ever think i'm pity...
choose if u think u are right...
don't regret okay...




drawing can be erased
picture can be deleted
but when u combine that two together..
its unforgettable

06 July 2009 4.27am

Wow...
unbelievable..

seems like i was back here again...
2 months i didn't blog already...

too busy for many things...

work..
work and work now...

keep this blog short for today...
because the time is quite late now...
just back from her house...
actually go there want to say many things...
but ended up sleeping soundly...
many things unsolved...
now...i also lazy to say those thing already...
decide to let go...
i think that's the better way...
i like her...
but things didn't work out as i plan...

treasure people that been good to you
if you lost these people
they wont come back again

yesterday...
drunk...
drink too much...
although it was torturing...
but quite fun...
cuz got
KARAOKE...