Im Not Emo...I Copied this from a guy~~lol

Used to be a trick, used to think I was big, used to think it was the right image to hold, but little did I know I was wrong.

I didn't see her for who she was, my love for her was there but I didn't know it at the time, blinded by my image, blinded by the light, blinded by my own stupidity, so blind I don't deserve to even lay my eyes on her.

I wish I grasped what could have been mine. I wish I wasn't so scared to fall in love, but I ain't too scared to fall in love, its love that is scared to let me be loved, like I don't deserve to be loved.

I see myself listening to slow jams more than ever. I see myself avoiding other girls. I know she is the one. I can see so clearly as I am one year out of our little relationship.

I look back and wonder how I fell in love with her. I realise it was her smile, her voice, her modesty, her petiteness, her charm, her gentle approach, the way she knew me like a book even though she had so little time to read me.

The fact that she knows that I've changed, the fact she knows I am like no other boy. I realise that it was the slow jams that made me change, the fact that I cried for her and she still does not know, the PAIN!

I have tried to win her back. She knows how I feel. I wish I was with her now instead of writing this pointless prose.

The plain fact is that you wont understand this, you cant even help me. You probably think I'm sprung, you probably think I got problems, you probably think she is a bitch, you might even think I'm just a teenager in love. But this is not no petty puppy love this is real and I don't think I will let her go, but ... the day I hold her will be the day I burn these words.

7 December 2009 10.38am

What a boring day today...
nothing to do much actually...

countless night i have restless sleep...
due to the cough i been thru...
its been a week now...
but it shows no progression..

its quite a long time...
that i didn't pen down something on this page...

my life is like a roller coaster recently...
up and down, up and down...
but i have get use to it since a long time ago...
so actually nothing shattered my hope for now...

have loads of things in my mind...
but its not the right time to present it out...
i have learned how to forget...
finally...

should be saying something inspirational...
but ended up saying craps...

lol...
maybe for another few days...
wait until i get into a better condition...
i will write something interesting...

that's all for now...